Two English portfolios, two exams, a philosophy assessment (which reminds me I need to send that paper), and commencement separates me from the "real world." And I'm ready. I'm so ready. The English language does not have words to describe just how ready I am. Yet, I am surrounded by people in my graduating class who consider the "real world" a horrible, terrifying thing. Sure. It's not all parties and social life. You actually have to work out in this "real world," but who wants to spend their whole life partying? Who can stand to remain so shallow that your social life is all that matters? College is not about parties; it's about preparing you for a job and this whole "real world." But maybe I'm one of those rare individuals who is awake and mature enough to see it--or maybe this is just further evidence of how badly I want to be done.
Done. There is a part of me that cringes at that word. College shouldn't be all about parties, but it shouldn't be something that you're desperate to leave either. I think that if you dread leaving college and working a job in this "real world," then maybe you didn't choose the right career in the first place; but there's also something wrong with being so ready to leave all of this behind you. If I'm so ready to leave, then what did I do wrong?
It doesn't take a lot of reflection to answer that question. I started my college career at a two-year community college, which I loved. Century was the perfect place for me. I loved my teachers, my classes, and I made a couple of lasting friends (one of which is going to be moving to St. Paul this Summer!). But then I transferred to a four-year college, away from my friends, family, and most importantly, my jobs. As a junior at Albion, I made friends, but they were all several years younger than me. I knew next to no one in my graduating class, but they all knew each other. So I've spent two years living as a stranger here. College shouldn't be all about your social life, but I've come to realize that there's something seriously missing if you spend more nights procrastinating homework by sitting in the library playing games on Facebook then out with friends. College doesn't just prepare you for a career, it has another, stronger lesson to teach you. And it's this lesson that I will leave college with a failing grade: how to balance your working life with your social life.
For those of my friends who know me well, you're probably throwing your hands up and saying "Finally!" Yeah. Okay. You were right. I needed to get out more. I need to get out more. At least now I've realized it, right?
Yet, if my sitting here writing a blog post to give me a break from my novella (which is turning into a novel) is any indication, I've still got a lot to learn. People all around me are packing up their stuff to go meet friends for dinner. Those people who come in alone, rarely end up sitting by themselves. Don't get all teary-eyed for me though, I'm not lonely. I'm happier studying and writing by myself. That's part of the problem. I have to make a real effort to go out and do something. I need an invitation, and even then I always have some excuse (of course most of the time they are legit excuses). The whole reason I decided to leave Minnesota to go to college was because it would give me the social life that I was lacking when I commuted to Century, and yet after two years here, few things have really changed.
But, things have changed. I've been to more than one college party; I've been drunk (St. Patrick's Day will never again have quite the same meaning); I've stayed up until insane hours hopping from one stranger's apartment to another with a group of incredibly fabulous (and drunk) friends; I've gotten McDonalds at 3 in the morning crammed into a car that probably should only fit half the people who were in it. I would never have done any of these things if I hadn't gone to Albion (though my best friend and I do some pretty amusing things when we spend any decent amount of time together). So maybe I managed to pass this last class college had to offer, even if just barely. The real question then is what will I take away from it?
I already have plans to come back and visit Albion/East Lansing. There's a movie coming out in May that I already plan to see at midnight. I'm (very likely) returning with my horse to the barn where I first began riding specifically because they offer schooling shows four times a year. By the time my next birthday (25!) comes around, I'll be moved out, and I'm planning on starting a traditional St. Patty's Day party. My brother, who I may be living with, has a birthday near Halloween, and if all goes according to plan we should have a place by then--another party opportunity? This last year of school has taught me that I love to cook, so there's another possible social experience. Of course, this is all just talk right now. There's no saying what will happen in the next month or year, but you have to admit, at least it's a start.
